Usmanov's Second Chin Speaks

God, matchday is always a busy day. I mentioned earlier about the Arsenal board going ape over the defeat to Fulham, and, unsurprisingly, one individual has come in, cutting a swathe through all and sundry to redefine obsessive-compulsive idiocy on a pinnacle few men can ever hope to reach. Here is just a taster of the madness that is Ar5enalwin -make Arsenal a club players want to come to and stay at, even over 30's... (Yes, that's actually his username. Should give you an idea of what's to come.)

This first batch are taken from a thread of mine condemning the hysterical reaction to the defeat.

"But [before Wenger, Arsenal was a team] with Tony Adams and out greatest ever defense a team with BRITISH BULLDOG spirit."

- Ar5enalwin -make Arsenal a club players want to come to and stay at, even over 30's...

You know, I think it's a bit insulting to one of Arsenal's greatest ever players to suggest his technical ability as a defender was secondary to him being BRITISH AND SPIRITED. On Wenger, Adams himself praised Wenger's role in helping him overcome his battle with alcohol addiction. But no, for Ar5enalwin that was all before Wenger. Once he took over, the first thing he did was sell Adams, Bould, Keown, Winterburn and Dixon to Havant and Waterlooville for £2.47 and a cheese baguette.

"I for one would be glad for some sort of calamity this season if only to rid us off Hillwood Fiszman and the other dinosaurs."

- Ar5enalwin -there's actually meant to be a space after the hyphen but I didn't put one there because my IQ is in the 30's...

Some fan he is. He wants his own team to lose so he can get a greasy Russian with dirty money to come over, put us further in debt - and I gather debt is a particular favourite reason of his why we should get rid of the board, see his 46 (again, not a joke, he actually wrote that many, OCD anyone?) "Sack the Board" articles - and destroy our long term financial future?

"The leadership have no intension at all with winning silverware.

All they care about is making enough prize money to pay off the banks."

- Ar5enalwin -let's put Arsenal in so much debt to Usmanov's creditors they'll be paying it off until the 2530's...

Wait, what? They don't care about winning stuff, they just want to win stuff...? Is Ar5enalwin actually handicapped? Answers on the back of a postcard.

On a thread calling for the board to be eaten by Usmanov's rolls of neck fat.

"Fans like him [calling for Usmanov to buy the club] are to be welcomed because like wenger they care that we have lost."

- Ar5enalwin -the number of small boys I have attempted to molest is probably in the 30's...

Remember kids, if you don't call for a board takeover every time your team loses, you're not a real fan!

"The trouble is just as me and my colleague sat on our seast last saturday UNABLE to recongise a single WBA player on the pre match team sheet except scott carson (who we should have bought by the way), we expected to storm the game but ended up just scraping a win."

- Ar5enalwin -I have the intellect and debating ability of an eleven year old, despite the fact that I'm well past my 30's...

That's not an indication that West Brom were poor quality opposition. That's an indication that you're an ignorant, arrogant cock. You're the reason so many people hate top-four fans, because you look down your nose at them despite the fact that you know bugger all about them or their team.

And finally, this comment from an article bemoaning the absence of Alex Hleb - which is a stupid article anyway, when we've had 70% of the possession and no goals, the last thing we need is Dribbly McNoshoot to come back.

"That is because the average weight of an arsenal teenager is 9 stone and height 5ft6.

How do you expect such players to shove aside some fearsome defences?"

- Ar5enalwin -possessed of the same level of rationality and reason as the German government of the late 1930's...

I'm sorry, but that's retarded. They're teenagers. They grow and stuff. Also, how many teenagers have Arsenal fielded in the league this season so far? One. Walcott. So quoting his height and weight doesn't constitute the "average weight of an arsenal teenager", you pathetic kettle of lying protoplasm.

UPDATE: Got him bang to rights on his claim to be a season ticket holder. He's just another lying plastic. I've posted the below on 606 here - keep an eye on it, this could get tasty.

From this.

"Like you I have a seaason ticket and go to games."

- Ar5enalwin -only able to count up to the 30's..., ~9pm

But then this followed...

"The reason I did NOT go today was the £48 + booking fee RIP OFF they charge for a ticket...."

- Ar5enalwin -a lying waste of oxygen and bandwith. Also something about 30's..., 10.19pm

Oh snap!