Friday, August 29, 2008

Hate "Leonard Cohen" glazer

Sorry for the recent drop in content, both in terms of volume and quality. The first is due to a drop-off in submissions, largely due to the actions of the mods, and the humourless Chelsea fans reporting me to them. The second is due to real life, that most irritating of things, catching up with me with increasing frequency these days.

But that's enough excuse making, and actions speak louder than words. So without further ado, let us plunge once more into the tortured psyche of hateglazer. This was from a thread about Chelsea and trade-offs for success.

"An ode to Chelsea:

The fake plastic football team
With fake plastic football players
With their fake plastic success
It wears me out,
It wears me out,
It wears me out.

They look like the real thing,
They taste like the real thing,
This fake plastic club

With no history,
And no tradition,
Jose Mourinho weren't no magician,
He was a fake plastic manager.

And they want to be
Like United
And they wanna be
Like United
All the time"

- hateglazer

Oh the wit! See how it burns! Feel the power of his originality - nobody has ever either called Chelsea plastic, nor have they ever used the power of song to taunt them! Nor have Manchester United ever had a plastic fan - no child from Surrey or Essex would be seen dead in a United shirt, that's for sure. And pray tell, what is a "fake plastic"? Is that a real fan pretending to be a glory-hunter for the laugh? Or did Mourinho actually pretend to be made of polystyrene?

The fact that he could only think of one rhyme makes it look all the more plaintive, as if he suddenly remembered what he read about poems in kindergarten and thought he should throw one lonely one in, just to make sure it qualified as a poem, in case the poetry police came for him or something.

Incidentally, I wonder if hateglazer is related to this guy?

No comments: